Saturday, September 04, 2004

Have a good weekend

The thing about horror movies is that everyone knows what's going to happen next except for the characters in the film. They go down to investigate strange noises in the basement, look out the door to answer a knock at midnight in their woodsy cabin and venture onto dinosaur-ridden islands without so much as a .22 caliber pistol. And they get chomped. But we in the audience know that real people are smarter than that. Take international diplomats in relation to Darfur. Genocide? No problem. Let's ask the Sudanese government to fix the problem and let the UN help. The Scotsman reports that Sudan has answered "no"; which in English means "nope" and whose alternative definition is "no way".

Sudan will not allow a peacekeeping force to patrol the troubled Darfur region, the country’s foreign minister says, although it might agree to additional peace monitors. ... The Janjaweed Arab militias are blamed for violence that has killed tens of thousands of people and forced more than 1.2 million to flee their homes in Darfur, creating the world’s worst humanitarian crisis. The Sudanese government denies accusations that it backs the militias to put down black African rebel groups that have been fighting government forces since 2003.

Of course we all know, like the horror movie audience, what's going to happen next. The UN will bluster and the genocide will go on. Anyone who disagrees will be branded as a "village idiot", which means lacking in savoire faire. And so we will open the door to the basement. Large parts of Sudan will become chaotic, Mad Max kinds of places, where never is heard a discouraging word and the Al Qaeda are happy all day. It will become a regular factory for the sort of gentlemen who just finished turning a school in Russia into a meatgrinder. The nice thing about the world today is that people can save the money they used to spend for horror movies by watching the news or visiting any of the jihadi websites to see the beheading of the week or things I won't mention because publishing spoilers is a rotten thing to do. Coming soon to a theater near you.